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Batman movie to be filmed on campus

Submitted by Michael Smith on March 20, 2014 – 11:24 amNo Comment

As the smoke settled from the epic defeat of both Bane and the League of Shadows, one question rose above all other questions in the hearts and minds of all Batman fans throughout the world: if Christian Bale’s trilogy is over, who will be the next Batman?

After weeks of speculation, uncertainty, and widespread gossip, it was finally announced that Ben Affleck would be the next masked successor in a long lineage of heroic caped crusaders.

With any fandom, once one question is answered, and its myths are crushed, many more rise to take its place. Is Robin going to be Joseph-Gordon Levitt? Will Alfred come back? Will the next Bat-film satisfy our fix for Morgan Freeman’s voice? However, the most pressing questions remain: are if the rumors are really true? Could it be?

Today, fellow Bats, we bring an answer to quell the pain of cliffhanging uncertainty. The rumors are indeed true. Sources have confirmed through a series of leaked emails and faxed diagrams that several key scenes of the next Batman blockbuster will be filmed here on campus over the course of the 2014-2015 school year.

This breakthrough has thrown students into an elated uproar. With news of filming to be scheduled mainly during daytime class hours, students will be encouraged to miss no more than three classes a week while watching the action-packed plot unfold throughout campus.

Film and broadcast majors will be encouraged to miss most classes and take notes while watching the shooting. Engineering majors will be expected to keep quiet about any flaws in special effects logic. English majors are reminded the script writers make an immense amount of money and do not need suggestions. Drama majors should avoid asking for a close up.

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