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Slipknot to open for One Direction at free concert

Submitted by Alexis Williams on March 30, 2014 – 10:53 pmNo Comment

Illustration by Logan Sturgill

One Direction will headline a free boy band jam at 1:69 p.m. on Feb. 30, 2015 in the elevator of the parking garage that leads to Lot 12. Stefon Meyers, guest star of Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update”, will host the concert which will include The Jonas Brothers, Slipknot, Ylvis, The Wanted, Rammstein, Big Time Rush, and politically-charged N*SYNC-tribute band Electile Dysfunction.

The concert is the result of a classic case of “I know a guy”. As it turns out, New York City correspondent Stefon Meyers heard that UALR’s Trojan Alley was scheduled to host a “Monday Night Dwarf Bowl” on February 30, and could not resist travelling down from The Big Apple to catch the fun. Anyone who regularly viewed the “Weekend Update” knows how fond Meyers is of dwarfs.

Coincidently, Meyers is also huge fan of One Direction, Slipknot, and Rammstein, and he once attended a party of the “Jo-Bros,” where he executed Operation Human R2-D2. For those that may not know, Meyers explained the phenomenon of Operation Human R2-D2.

“It’s that thing when a dwarf dials a speakerphone, and you put a garbage can over his head,” he said.

In any event, Meyers decided to invite those three big bands to UALR to watch the dwarf bowl. The bands were so excited about the event that they asked the other acts to join them in a totally free after-bowl concert.

Students can catch all the fun and excitement Feb. 30 in the parking garage near the Donaghey Student Center. There is no cover charge or need to purchase tickets; students only need the password to enter. The catch is that they must utter the password five times fast without messing up, which is “Fluffy Clumpkins on my Snuffalumpicus.”

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