Carl the Condom: The New Face of UALR
The University of Arkansas at Little Rock’s division of Fun and Games has decided that it is time to get a new mascot for the basketball team. From now on, the basketball team will be led onto the court by Carl the Condom. Carl will be replacing the current Trojan Man and will be seen dancing on the sidelines at all of the basketball games.
The athletic department decided on a condom for a mascot for a few reasons, the first being condoms are good at defense. Having a strong defense is one of the major aspects of a successful basketball team. Just as a condom will stop the seeds from getting to the goal, the Trojans hope to keep the ball in their possession. Another reason is condoms help intensify the pleasure, and the basketball team hopes to keep the audience pleasured by winning their games.
Beginning next year, the team will be known as the UALR Trojan Condoms. This summer the bookstore will begin stocking the new line of spirit wear. Get ready for latex hats! If you have any design ideas for spirit wear, please email it to the athletic coordinator at firstname.lastname@example.org. Hopefully our new mascot will lead us to many victories in the years to come. GO CARL THE CONDOM!