Thank you for that introduction. Thank you to the GSA for nominating me and the Board of Visitors for selecting me for the “We heart our faculty” award. As I said to my family, “this is the one that counts—the one from the students.” It’s an honor.
When Associate Dean Kuralt emailed to invite me to speak, she wrote and I quote “ Your remarks would not need to be extensive; five minutes of inspirational or encouraging reflection would be sufficient for this event.”
Well, then. No pressure or anything. Just five minutes of inspiration or encouragement and at the end of the semester, no less!
So between grading projects and emailing about final grades, I’ve spent the week thinking about what to say that might be inspirational or encouraging.
Should I tell you about Blair Braverman’s advice to someone who applied for and didn’t get a new dream job? That she told them that most opportunities don’t pan out and that there will be countless disappointments in her wonderful essay “On Getting Rejected a Lot (and Liking it” (https://www.outsideonline.com/2400888/life-unfair-rejection-great)?
Instead of that depressing you, let that free you. Instead of measuring acceptances or successes, change your measure of success and collect rejections. Give yourself a rejection goal–5, 20, 50, rejections–and let success be hitting that number. Keep track. Make a big chart, create a folder in email for rejections, give yourself a gold star for every rejection you get.
Once you’ve escaped the tyranny of success, reach for the sky! Try for that overseas adventure. Submit a piece of writing or artwork or a proposal somewhere. Apply for that wild, crazy, “I could never” or “wow. That would be cool” opportunity. Do it! It probably won’t happen, and along the way, you’re going to get rejected more than you can imagine, but you’re also going to get accepted. Even those things you get rejected for now might pay off later on. Sometimes, you just have to put the info out there. Rejection gives you opportunities.
But, that’s not very inspirational.
Or maybe should I tell you one of my favorite Neil Gaiman stories—he of Coralina, American Gods, Good Omens, The Sandman, and The Graveyard Boy fame. One of the most amazing thing about Neil Gaiman’s writing is its range: so many different genres and mediums. Gaiman was asked about how he dealt with imposter syndrome and he responded with the following tale.
Gaiman was at an fancy shindig with people who had done great things and created great art and science, and he worried that they would realize that he wasn’t qualified to be there. He was, after all, just an author.
On his second or third night there, he and a very nice elderly man were being wallflowers in the corner. When they started talking, Gaiman learned the gentleman shared his first name. And then the gentleman said words to the effect of
“I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”
To which Gaiman responded, “Yes Mr. Armstrong, But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”
And Gaiman felt better about being there. Because, as he put it, “if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.”
We should keep in mind that maybe we’re all slightly out of our depth, doing the best job we can, feeling like we don’t belong or others are smarter than we are.
But that’s not very inspirational either.
Maybe I should tell you practical advice like
Pay yourself first, even if it’s only 10 bucks. (Don’t pay Sallie Mae first. She’ll be there for a long time with her hand out. Trust me!) Look after you and yours first.
Or to keep your resume up to date—and always keep a finger in the job pie. An up-to-date resume is a great thing to have on hand. You never know what might happen
Or to make sure you have a folder or file of kudos and praises for those days when rejection or the impostor syndrome becomes too much and you wonder if the work is even worth it.
Or that experience is just what we call mistakes we made in the past, so if you want to be an expert, you need to make a lot of mistakes. Learning happens in the mistakes.
Or to make your bed every morning because then you’ll have done at least one thing every day and let’s face it, crawling into a made bed feels nice.
Or remind you to be kind to people because being kind is an act of resistance in a world that loves cruelty.
Or to remember that, as Audre Lord said, “Caring for [yourself] is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
Maybe I should remind you of what Mr. Rogers did during his Lifetime Achievement Awards at the 1997 Daytime Emmy’s where he talked about the people who had helped him come to that place. He said to the audience:
All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are, who have loved you and wanted what’s best for you. Whoever it is you’ve been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they’ve made.”
Who loved you into being? Who helped you during this journey through higher education, who told you you could do it, who said I have faith in you? None of us have done any of this by ourselves. Who will you love into being?
Perhaps I should inspire you by telling you that we are at a point in history that demands action from all of us, that you have the capacity to shape our nation for the next hundred years. That these times, like those of the Civil Rights Movement, demand action and these actions will reverberate. That your work—whether that’s in the arts, in teaching, in sociology, in political science, in writing, in whatever shape and form—has an impact on who we as a state, country, nation will be.
None of that seems sufficiently inspirational or encouraging—so yeah, thanks again, Dr. Kuralt.
So let me just say this. Whenever you need inspiration or encouragement, look into the mirror. You—all of you—are the inspiration. You. You, who finished your MA or MS during this almost unprecedented pandemic, who had to shift to online classes even if it was something you had no experience with or interest in, and who succeeded regardless.
And you did this all while balancing work and family and church and—for many of you—falling ill with COVID or having to grieve someone or multiple someones who has been lost to COVID or other illnesses, perhaps someone who loved you into being.
You have done all this.
When you are faced with overwhelming situations, remember that you are here, now, having triumphed, having succeeded. You are the inspiration, you are the role model, you are the one to look to.
I know that I speak for all UA Little Rock faculty when I say it has been an honor to learn with you, and it is a privilege to have walked with you on this journey. So go forth, get rejected a lot, remember we all feel like we don’t belong, make a whole bunch of mistakes, take care of yourself, and do amazing things.
Thank you.
